X

Well, so far in this blog I’ve avoided writing much about the X. In part I guess because I know that she is one of my dear readers and, well, that does set the internal editor into action. But, anyway, here goes.

So yesterday I stopped by the X’s to pick up some of the random belongings that I left behind when I moved out. Luckily we have both been reasonable people and it wasn’t one of those situations where I had to pluck what I could salvage out of the pyre in the backyard. Let’s face it, charred books just aren’t all that appealing.

But anyway, after Padraig’s baseball practice, I showed up with my boxes and one of the first things she said to me was “Have you been to the bar?” What?! Man, I must’ve looked like shit or something. I do admit that when I had to cancel this appointed pick-up on Tuesday I was at the bar, but that involved meeting up with JetBlue and, well, I was hoping to give that futile effort one last go. I’m just a sucker for that shite. Anyway, though, maybe I have been looking like crap. I hadn’t really stopped to think about it. It’s been a month or so since I’ve seen the X. And I couldn’t possibly have looked good that day either because I’d spent that whole weekend crying over the death of a friend.

Bu’nyway, I packed up my stuff, well much of it. While there I also got to visit with the badass cats, M&M, one of whom I may inherit at some point. At least in theory. The X loves both of them as much as she hates the way they fight. And, like Shakespeare’s wife, I may even inherit the second-best bed in the house. At least there was some talk of that a while ago. But who knows. I gotta find a decent place to live first before details like that may be worked out.

Anyway, as I was headed out I asked her how things were going and she said something like “Fine” and then added something to the effect of “I don’t know how to answer that.” Wow, that was cryptic. At least to me, but then again I’ve been accused of being thick before. At any rate, that was that. I’ve now got some boxes of stuff in my car and this afternoon I have to figure out where to put it all. I’ve been meaning to organize my limited space for a while and this will give me the impetus to do that. Add it to the list.

So, there you go. I’ve written about the X. I will say that even after three months it’s hard sometimes to accept the fact that this person that I still care about greatly is long gone. But on the other hand, I enjoy the life I’m living. I have new friends who accept me for whom I am; I have the drive to write and write and write; I have my children whom I love; I have a pretty good grip on dealing with depression–and I have autonomy over my life. All in all not so bad.

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