Archive for October, 2007

Not So Fluttery

October 30, 2007

Okay, so after an optimistic yesterday, why am I mired in a pessimistic Tuesday? Right now I’m thinking that maybe I blew my only opportunity–after hanging out with Ms. Hold ‘Em and not asking her out or anything maybe she’s already judged me negatively. All I can say is that Thursday will be nerve-wracking any way you slice it.

But part of me is still fluttery and thinking about her cuteness and sweetness and all. I can’t help it. I’m torn between the two sides of me–stupidly optimistic and needlessly pessimistic. I wonder which one is right this time around?

Oh, and in other news, I had my phone in my pocket this morning and forgot to lock the keyboard (it’s external). When I got to work I realized that my phone had inadvertently called K2 at 7:15 this morning. She must be thinking I’m some kind of fucking freak. Can’t wait to hear this story. The last time that happened to me it was a call from my pocket to a co-worker at 2 a.m. At least if he was pissed it had no real effect on me…

See ya.

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That Fluttery Feeling

October 29, 2007

Okay, so Saturday night was the big Halloween party at the bar that the secret bar is in the shadow of. (Yeah, that’s an awkward sentence). Although I didn’t dress up, except for a brief foray wearing C’s curly blonde mullet wig, it was a wild time with a mix of costumed partiers and the usual suspects down at the secret bar.

But none of that really matters to me at the moment.

I spent much of the night talking to the Thursday night Hold ‘Em dealer. And I’m still thinking about her and getting that fluttery feeling. And while I blew my opportunity to ask her out that night, I actually think the opportunity is still going to be there Thursday when she’s next working. I’m thinking she left Saturday knowing that I’m a shy boy that likes her very much. Or at least that’s what my boyheart is hoping. (I know, I get goofing at times like this)

And here’s the best part, dear blog readers: she doesn’t seem aloof like JetBlue and she doesn’t seem messed up like K2. In fact, she’s kind of an average homebody who gets to go out a couple of times a week. She seems mostly single. And she seems fairly interested in yours truly. She seems freakin’ nice and normal..and did I mention kinda cute.

This blog could get real dull real soon. And I don’t just mean from the lack of posts.

Recapping, part tatu

October 24, 2007

Well, I won’t let the fact that absolutely no one has read this blog in two days deterring me from attempting some sort of update…

Last night I received a surprise text from my friend who “runs” the secret bar. As this was a rarity (asking me to meet him for drinks on a Tuesday) I was sure to comply. As it turns out, he and his girlfriend seem to be in the process of breaking up and he decided to deal with it by not talking to her and drinking heavily instead. Little did he know I’m a bit of an expert in that strategy. Anyway, Tattoo Guy and I were there for quite a while–I scored potential invites to both going out for sushi soon AND a post-Christmas party, cha chang–and then when others were leaving we packed up and I insisted on going to the usual bar.

Why didn’t I just go home? Well, as more astute readers may have guessed, I knew that the Jilted One was working and I hoped that K2 would show up on the scene. So we spent quite some hanging out there with the Jilted One and the Gangster and his girlfriend, as well as other people who passed through. Oh yeah, including a, let’s say, “chubby” girl that I briefly expressed interest in to Tattoo Guy, whom TG decided to chat up “on my behalf” and to tell her that we would be back there tonight! Oh my. The problem was 1) I first saw her when she was sitting at a table, and 2) Tattoo Guy seemed bound and determined to set me up with someone, anyone, you know, what with all the “success” he’s had helping me to work the K2 angle.

Oh yeah, K2. At some point in the evening, K2 and her friend (see the ala Pulp Fiction dancing girl from an April post) breezed in and K2 said hi to Tattoo Guy and me. Then she asked for a cigarette, so TG and I headed outside. When we got out there her friend came out and asked for a cigarette as well. And then they, um, left immediately. Yes indeedy, 45 seconds worth of quality K2 time and only a $40 bar tab to show for it…

What else is there to say…

Recapping, part zwei

October 23, 2007

This idea of doing recaps in pieces just isn’t working out, is it? For every five days worth of material, I get one in the books.

Why have I not been driven to write as of late? I have the same amount of time as I did last spring. Maybe the time is coming for me to look at what I’ve written and see it as a complete cycle. The whole idea all along has been to fictionalize it (even more so than the process of deciding what to report is already a form of fictionalization) and I’m thinking I’m at the point where I have a complete story. You know, fill in a few car chases and I’ve got myself a blockbuster. heh.

Anyway, I haven’t seen K2 since Thursday, but that’s okay. We’ve texted a couple of times so I’m happy with that. She’s not the sort of girl you want to hover around and look needy in front of. But last night I did get a little quality time with the Jilted One, not to mention JetBlue. Nothing stands out in any of the conversations though. Oh, except when the Police’s “Don’t Stand So Close to Me” came on and the Jilted One looked at me and smiled: “They’re playing your song.”

Ouch.

But, anyway, this is the point when I make the false promise of “More Later.”

Recapping, part uno

October 18, 2007

I’ve been saying this a lot, but I have a lot of catching up to do here.

So, let’s start with things I remember: Sunday I watrched the Pats game with the kids and friends with kids. It was sweet: we had tons of good food (he makes amazing Puerto Rican rice and spareribs and I made some decent wings with a sweet/hot Thai-like sauce) and good beer. The highlight of the beer is that he has his kids trained to fetch them. They ask what flavor and he says either green, brown, or can. Fun stuff. And the kids were mezmerized by his fireplace. They fetched kindling–watch out for coyotes, kids!–and then he started a blaze. The kids watched it, fascinated. They looked for different images in the flames, much as they would with clouds. I still love watching fires (not in the scary arsonist way, just the cool campfirey way) so I understand their thrill.

After that I went to the bar briefly. I was supposed to meet Tattoo Guy there, but he had already left. K2 and the Jilted One were there, as well as D. and Dr. B. I went in fully intending to talk to K2–you know that thing I got for her–but while I was still walking in the door I notice that the bartender had put a beer down for me in the middle of the bar…and that was when I noticed JetBlue sitting there wearing a Red Sox cap. She had bought me a beer the second I walked in. Yeah. That was pretty unexpected. I was talking to a friend about this later and he agreed with me that I was the victim of a whatever the female version of the “cock-block” is called. She has a deep, abiding hatred for K2 and knows that I like her. I can definitely see her passive-aggressively keeping me away. I mean, it’s not like she has any interest in me herself or anything.

But, anyway, I was tired and only stayed for a couple. I talked to the Jilted One a little but didn’t get a chance to talk to K2 though I did witness an argument between her and D.–she confronted him about all the shit he was talking about her to her roommate. He was attempting a weak combination of bravado and minimizing what he said and some sort of attempt at self-deprecation, but all in all he was clearly in the wrong, had clearly treated her shittily. Of course, Dr. B was not helping. He too has been talking trash about K2 and he continued to try to as she confronted D. But she dismissively ignored him and gave me a look that suggested that he reminded her of the largest fart that someone else dropped in a crowded theatre.

Anyway, it was a short night for me, but a good Sunday overall.

Teacher Man

October 15, 2007

Well, that was certainly a weird weekend. Not so much from a ‘my relationships’ perspective, but rather from seeing some serious stuff happen to others. I hope I have the time to write about some of it. It’s interesting stuff.

But for now, here’s a funny little snippet. The owner of the secret bar introduced me to this woman who’s been kind of stalking him (that part is its own story) and said: “He’s a teacher.” To which she asked “Oh, what do you teach?” And the owner replied: “He teaches people to pay their debts on time.”

I’ve also found that several people I know pretty well (including the Jilted One and the secret bar owner) didn’t know until this weekend that I have kids. I guess I do need to talk more. I guess I thought that if I told a few people then everyone would know. Guess not. Go figure.

Multiple Hugs

October 12, 2007

Well, I had a crazy night last night. It didn’t start that way but after a trip north of Rt. 9 with Tattoo Guy and a long visit to the secret bar which included some questionable behavior and a long conversation with a guy that I knew but had never talked to before, we ended up up above at the bar because K2 was there and she is now essentially homeless and Tattoo Guy was taking her in for the night. Now, if I had a proper place to stay I could be the ‘take her in’ person and my life would be golden (heh!) but I don’t so what can ya do?

Anyway, let’s see, while there the Jilted One gave me a huge hug and a kiss when she was leaving (hey, I’m not getting a lot of action so that was special) and another girl who’s leaving the area soon also gave me a big hug and lots of attention.

After closing time (closing time on a Thursday? That’s not smart let me tell you) and then we spent twenty minutes in the parking lot after closing time as Tattoo Guy, K2 and M. worked out who was driving whom where (TG doesn’t drive, K2 couldn’t and M., who likes K2, clearly didn’t want her going home with TG alone). I still have to find out what finally happened. I went home on auto-pilot and swore that next week I wouldn’t repeat this kind of mid-week mistake.

I haven’t been writing much lately, but if you haven’t noticed I’ve been on a K2 kick lately. Troubled, but beautiful and sweet, I can’t help but care about her. Though JetBlue has said some things about her that should make someone at least stop and wonder, I have to ignore her snipey comments until I find out if they’re even remotely true. On the plus side for me–you know, with her going home with Tattoo Guy and telling him that she wanted to “snuggle”– TG told me that he wouldn’t do that because he knows that I adore her. Now, that’s a friend. Me, I would’ve gone home with them (and Tattoo Guy certainly invited me) and done that snuggling myself but I had to work today and I knew I wouldn’t survive the day if I stayed up any later. As it was I got here a couple of minutes after my first class started (ooops).

So, anyway, my pursuit of K2 continues. It’s in a weird place right now because her life is so fucked up. Her roommate has locked her out–she was already kicked out as of November 1st–and she’s struggling with lots of other issues as well. It seems as if our quixotic plans of finding a place together (as friends, mind you, nothing else) have no hope of happening. But at the same time, we see more and more of each other and who knows where that will lead. Tattoo Guy is helping me to be “in” with her while at the same time counciling me against the idea.

And I’m just all in all being a foolish dreamer, picturing us running away to some substance-free utopia where we can relax and talk about books and ideas and things Irish and all those other things I know we both love and cherish and where we can hug and kiss and not worry about all those other ones. But I suppose that, like every other dream, it’s never going to come true, can never happen because life never makes things easy and because there’s a point after which there’s no clear way back to a simple, happy life.

I’m Not Sure

October 9, 2007

I’m not sure how I’m going to be able to sum up this past weekend. So let me start with one crazy thing…

Okay, so, some time ago I asked Tattoo Guy to put in a good word for me with K2. You know, I’m super shy and I figure any help I can get will, you know, help. And, since they talk on the phone a lot–an example of the law of supply and demand in action–I figured he’d throw in some name dropping.

But at the moment I’m not sure what happened. I only can say is that I feel like I’m going to find out tonight that he went a bit overboard. You see, I dropped him off last night at the Jilted One’s house (where K2 and some others were hanging out) and he was drunk. Tattoo Guy is a lot different drunk than sober and I hadn’t really intended drunk Tattoo Guy to do the talking on my behalf. So, anyway, after I was home awhile I sent him a text message. He had spilled a McDonald’s Shake in my car and I felt the need to guilt him about it. Anyway, he replied that he would “Hook me up.” Not sure with what or whom he meant but I sent back a sarky reply that said something like “Oh yeah, I expect K2 to be calling me any minute now.”

And then a fucking minute later she called. Oh fuck. Now, mind you, I didn’t answer because 1) I get terrible reception where I live which makes every call a series of “What was that?” and “I’m losing you.” Hardly the workings of something awesome. And, 2) I really didn’t know what she knew in calling me. Did he tell her to call me randomly? Did he blurt out that I worship the ground she drinks on? What? So I sent him a message telling him I wasn’t able to answer the phone (there were two other calls from his phone too) and Iasked him what the hell he said to her. And he wouldn’t answer me.

So, I’m left here wondering if she knows how much of a freak I am or if she was in black out mode and doesn’t remember the whole incident at all or what. Fucking Tattoo Guy.

Should make tonight pretty interesting.

Oh, and the rest of the weekend–lots of other interesting stuff, including a discussion with K2 about finding an apartment together. THAT would certainly put a damper on this whole teenage lust thing. But did drunk Tattoo Guy manage to put a damper on the whole apartment thing. I’m so confused right now…

Useful Feedback

October 7, 2007

Last night I was talking to D. and K2’s Roommate…

Roommate (to me): Believe me, you don’t want to date her.

Me: Why not?

Roommate: Well, first of all, your dick will fall off.

Me: Uh.

Roommate: Oh, and when she says she had two drinks, she means two bottles.

That’s it for today, dear readers. By this weekend I plan to be caught upwith all my school work though and hope to be writing more soon.

Promises, promises.

More Quickies

October 4, 2007

Well, the pile of paperwork that has kept me from writing frequently is finally starting to reduce in size. This bodes well for laying down some serious text soon. What’s that you say? Assigning less work to your students isn’t the best way to do that? Hmmm, I’ll have to think about that one.

Let’s see, JetBlue has reappeared on the scene suddenly. She texted me out of the blue on Tuesday and showed up at the bar yesterday for the baseball game. Which was surprising because one of her texts Tuesday told me that she was through with the bar and wasn’t coming back. That’s resolve for ya. Oh, and, she had gone mssing not only because of her K2 drama but ALSO because she went back to the arsehole for a short while. Shocker.

K2 was looking freaking gorgeous last night, wearing the same Red Sox shirt she wore the night I first met her. Okay, I’ll admit that I’m smitten. Just you nevermind that she’s a walking pharmacy and drinks Vodka like it’s Vitamin Water. And  just you also nevermind that her Roommate (who’s seeing D. right now) told some scary stories about my precious K2 including one in which the Roommate woke up to find K2 staring at her.

That’s all okay.

Afternoon Girl seems to be doing well. We email and internet it a lot, but we’ve only had a few phone calls back and forth. That’s all good at this point. When we do talk we seem to pick up right where we left off.

Tonight some of my co-workers and I are planning a “field trip” to PCB. I’m hoping it’s open tonight…

Anyway, that’s all for now. Free writing time is ovah!