It’s All Good in the Twilight Zone

Let’s see. You’re due for some updates.

Friday night I went down to the secret bar to hang out. It was a quiet night. They did have some free pizza which was cool. Apparently they were expecting more than the six or seven people who actually showed up. But it was fun. I won a nice bit of money on the “for amusement only” machine so that was great. The bar ended up closing early and we went down to the scary bar. It was cool. I got to hang out with Friday’s bartender, the Young One, for a while. That was cool. I’ve (okay, like every guy in the universe) always been attracted to her so it was fun to be out together. At one point at the scary bar, one of the scary bar patrons made some sort of joke and I responded to it–I don’t even remember what it was–and then she said to the Young One: “You’re lucky. He’s a 120% man!” So we went along with the idea that we were together, just for fun of course. At one point I even put my arm around the Young One and told the scary bar patron that “She tells me I’m 130% man!” Another evening for the annals. We even stopped back at the secret bar for a super secret post-last call drink. Nothing like a sketchy 3 AM moment with C., the Young One, the owner, Runaround Sue, and the scary bar patron (mentioned above).

Saturday, Miss Hold ‘Em and I ate in at her house and then headed down to the secret bar. We had a nice night–had some drinks, played pool, watched first a bar crawl come through quickly and then some crazy Russians. C. asked me at one point if I had hooked up with the Young One the night before and, obviously the answer was no. Not that it isn’t something that every guy down there has dreamt of. I mean, come on, we’re only humen. But, anyway, the night went on relatively uneventfully. Oh, except that at the end of the night MHE broke up with me. You know, a typical Saturday night.

On Sunday I got to go down to Worc’ster to be a part of their St Paddy’s day parade. It was a fun day but it was wickedly, bitterly cold. Luckily I was numb to begin with, plus a friend gave me a wool hat that had been given him. So I managed to survive the elements.

Oh, yeah. As I mentioned above MHE dumped my sorry ass. Her only explanation was that “I had a feeling and I went with it.” On Tuesday we talked it over and–though like any couple I know we’ve got small problems–she really couldn’t pinpoint any reason other than it’s the way she was feeling. Oh well. As it turned out we had a great time Tuesday night. We spent parts of the evening together hanging out and haven’t laughed so much and been so at ease–I realized later that it was the most fun time I had felt with her in a long time. It was nice to not have to worry about relationshippy stuff I guess. But it still begs the question of why, in her (I increasingly realize) mind-boggling thought processes, the thought of actually talking over issues never came to mind. I’m thinking it has something to do with never having had a healthy relationship (that’s her own assessment of her past, not me being bitter) before. Do you have to learn to think of the option of working through problems? Perhaps.

On Tuesday I also stopped up at the bar up above for a while with a friend. The Jilted One was excited to see me and gave me a big hug. I wish I could bottle that feeling, hehe. But things weren’t too exciting up there so we headed back down below.

At any rate, I’ll be honest and say that I both hope and fear that at some point MHE and I will give it another go. But, to be honest, the more I see how she’s capable of acting without ever feeling any guilt or responsiblity for her actions clues me in on the fact that there seems to be some kind of damage getting in the way of her maintaining a relationship in a healthful way. I guess it’s a question of whether or not it’s a major and permanent problem or just a lack of experience combined with some, um, quirkiness. I don’t know. We’ll see what we shall see.

Last night I met some friends down at the bar. Lots of fun conversations. Got to vent a little to C., the genious who set up MHE and I (just kidding, despite this sudden turn of events I do appreciate his efforts). But to be honest, the more I talked to him the more I realized that the small problems she reacted against were really nothing compared to some of the shit she pulled on me. So, I’m happy to be moving steadily away from any kind of pining. And the thing is, other than spending Sunday in a hungover haze of rejection and anger and confusion, I’ve been pretty damn fine. After a year of careening through singleness which followed losing a meaningful relationship to a really special person (and, as I’ve admitted before that one was very much my fault), this break-up was more just a ‘what the fuck’ moment than a defining point in my life. And it was certainly further evidence that I shouldn’t be thinking about retiring this blog. Just when I thought my life was “boring” and “happy” suddenly MHE showed me that beneath a really wonderfully placid surface there can be some caustic substances brewing.

So, anyway, on Wednesday (last night) I struck up a friendship with the bartender. She’s a really cool, heavily tattooed chick who does some really crazy (in a cool way) art. No, kids, this isn’t the start of something. She’s engaged and all. But anyway, we got to talk more last night than we have in months and it was cool to really get to know someone that I’ve known a while. Also, C. made an interesting comment: several of us were talking about the Young One and how hot she is–if our “guy” conversations were organized as a Google search, “The Young One” would definitely be the “I’m Feeling Lucky” result–and C. (who previously imagined that I was hooking up with her on Friday)–said to me “You should go after her, for those of us who can’t.” And I was like, “Oh yeah, I’m twice her age. Like that’s going to happen.” [and, dear reader, please keep your snide “Afternoon Girl” comments to yourselves] And then he said “I don’t know. She’s always seemed to like you. She talks about you a lot.” And, the thing is, in a strange sort of way I wasn’t surprised at his assessment. She has always–in a friendly way–shown me a lot of attention and paid me lots of compliments. (She even ‘bought’ me on one of those goofy Facebook applications. Heh!) But, still, I know it ain’t gonna happen and I know that even entertaining the notion is just setting me up for a world of disappointment, so, sorry C., you’re going to have to find someone else to live through vicariously.

And, so yes dear readers, it’s all good. Tonight I’ll be seeing MHE down at the secret bar. We may or may not get a chance to hang out. If we do, I’m sure it will be fun because we’ve never had anything but a good time together. And it’ll be weird because I’m expecting that it’ll be further proof that Saturday’s “events” really make no sense in a normal, rational world.

But, oh wait, I just remembered that one of the premises of this blog is that the secret bar is a place where what is “normal” and “rational” is turned on edge and inverted and twisted and crumpled up in a ball and then thrown into the river. And if it doesn’t float. It doesn’t float.

So, not only will “no setback set me back” but also “no surprise will surprise me.”


2 Responses to “It’s All Good in the Twilight Zone”

  1. Courtney Says:

    Taking a step back seems to be a good plan, Joe.

  2. Pearl Says:

    Hi Joe, Michele sent me. Looks like you had a lively weekend. Obviously I don’t know you but first impression, you seem to have a solid head on your shoulders for the way life rolls. “Do you have to learn to think of the option of working through problems?” ooooh yah. Everything is a skill and that’s one of them.

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