As If Life Weren’t Confusing Enough

UPDATED: Because it wasn’t already long enough… 

Let’s see, I remember last Thursday as being uneventful. Though the campfire was set up at the secret bar, it wasn’t in use yet, which was a bit of a bummer to both Miss Hold ‘Em (MHE) and I. It’s sad, but I can’t really remember much from that evening. Oh well, maybe it’ll come back to me or maybe it really was THAT uneventful.

Friday–parade weekend starts!–was a bit more eventful. First there was the disappointment of finding out that the Young One would not be working at the secret bar one final week. (Oh wait, I found that out Thursday and after C. told me he once again said “Are you sure there’s nothing going on between you too? You can tell me.”) But anyway, I went out with the Other Option. We went to a downtown bar hoping it would be partytime, but it was just okay. Then we went to the bar above the secret bar. A big step for me, bringing her into the world that MHE and I had occupied together for several months. She met a couple of bartenders, but the bar was fairly quiet otherwise. We played the videogame and got a few high scores. It pays to hang around with the smart ladies! Then we went back downtown. By the end of the evening she was fairly well drunky so when we got back to her place I got to drive the babysitter home. Now, in my past I’ve had to drive several babysitters home and let me say that that is one of the more awkward situations in the world. Adult guy, teenage girl–whom you hardly know (and she doesn’t really know you from anyone)–the conversations are always forced and stilted. I’m always worried that I’ll say something that comes out wrong and seems sketchy to the person. Or she’ll notice that I’ve had a few drinks and her parents will be ripshit that I drove her in that condition. So many things. Anyway, I went back to the Other Option’s for a while. Thank you, Miller Lite.

After that, I stopped down to the secret bar for a brief visit. C.–who had pledged to stay in that night–was there. Not much was going on, but it was a pleasant ending to a pleasant evening.

Saturday–roadrace day–was great. First of all, thank you to the 3,200 runners who’s fitness regime makes it possible for the other thousands of us to drink out in the streets of downtown in the middle of the afternoon! It was a bit windy that day, but after a few stops in the beer tents who’s going to notice. I won’t go into all the details except to say that MHE, more or less out of the blue, decided to stop by on her way home from errands. Well, maybe less ‘out of the blue’ because on Friday I sent her and her daughter flowers just to express how I felt about our ongoing friendship and to celebrate the most important weekend in the year in our little part of the world. (No really, that was my only goal in sending them. Honestly. I know, I know, in a way it was probably calculated to let her know that I’m the sweetest fucking thing to ever drop into her life. But, really, it was all about friendship. Oh, and I know that it could have totally backfired. But, it didn’t. End of parenthetical statement.) We stopped by a couple of bars together and had a nice chat. Just in case the current status of our being “(not a) couple” wasn’t confusing enough, she re-invited me to a Sox game in May, told me she wished we had kept the concert tickets we had and gone together as friends because “clearly, we would have had a real good time” but at the same time reiterated her desire to remain single for now. And, she asked me for a ride home the next night after the parade and the night of drinking to follow. Interesting, wha!? Oh, and she also told me that her parents were “rooting for me” and that every person she had talked to had indicated to her that I was a great guy. Clearly, though, she’s smart enough not to listen to EVERYone including her own feelings, But, hey, I think we’re both happier without the pressure of a relationship anyway. I know I’m in no real rush to jump back into that maelstrom of a heart that she has.

But, anyway, after an afternoon of drinking, I went home and napped a couple of hours and then tried to head out again around eight. But, it was clear to me that I was too tired and my head was heavy from the afternoon of drinking so I was home before I knew it…

Which is good because I had to be up at quarter to six in order to fulfill my duties to the parade. The day went smoothly. I positioned myself along the route near the location I expected MHE would be. We talked a few times briefly, had a cigarette together and, when the parade was over, headed out together. Our first stop was at the end of the route. We stopped at a bar downtown. It was fairly crowded, lots of bikers and stuff. Oh, and a tank parked out front. I wish I had my camera with me for that one.

Then we headed down to the secret bar. We had a nice time together all afternoon, hanging out, being close and flirty and all. But, in the back–or actually the front–of my mind, I knew that MHE’s goal for the day was to drink like crazy so I knew that at some point things would turn chaotic. But, for once, I didn’t really care because, as we say down at the bar, “it ain’t my turn to watch her.”

Oh, by the way, did I mention that throughout the parade and throughout the night she was wearing a green hat and a green and white boa? Please picture this at all times throughout the rest of this part of the story…

Sunday night’s chaos came in the form of attempting to solve all of her friends’ problems and, in so attempting, pissing off several people. No, MHE, ‘you really shouldn’t have told that person what I think of them’ several people were surely thinking. Or trying to tell her. But, when she’s in full chaos mode, everything she does is right–and if people get pissed off that she’s solving their problem for them, that’s their, um, problem.

And I just sat back and watched and noted it for when the time comes that I have to decide if I can really put up with her.

Finally, at some point later in the evening, her friend (whom she had watched the parade with) called. MHE, standing near the speaker blaring music, kept saying “I can’t hear you.” But, she didn’t actually think of moving away from the speaker. Then she got off the phone and said to me: “We hafta go up to her house.” (Oh, do we?) I asked why and she said something about a problem that needed fixing (thank you, god, for allowing me to not laugh hysterically), but first she needed to get another drink, “in case she doesn’t have any alcohol up at the house.” (did I ever say I would actually go there?). And then MHE decided she needed to stop upstairs–I don’t remember if she said why, but I kind of wondered if she already forgot about her mission to visit her friend. So, we went upstairs and she sat down near the pool table and, basically, was all over me. Now I’m not much for PDAs, but hey, after a sixteen hour day anything seems reasonable.

Then, hahaha, as we were headed back downstairs we ran across a young couple having a drunken argument (apparently the woman had asked a Hispanic person how to say “If I suck your dick will you lick my pussy?” in Spanish and, somehow, her boyfriend got upset about it. Oh, and he poured a drink over her head…gotta love parade day). And, MHE says to me: “Hold on a sec, I can help.” Now she started all reasonable, asking the woman if she needed a ride home, considering the anger going on. But, when the woman refused, MHE then decided to mediate and kept going back and forth between the two. It was priceless. I’ve never heard anyone quite so illogically and chaotically attempt to settle a dispute. After a few minutes I walked away to get a drink and came back after a cigarette to find her still mediating. By this point, both of them just wanted to be anywhere else but talking to her, but she kept it up, trying to show them the logic of her ways. Finally I think they made up out of frustration at not being able to get away from her.

UPDATE: I almost forget the funniest, most ironic part of her “conversation” with these people: at one point she said to them that “communication is the key to a good relationship.” Hahaha, coming from the person who dumped me without ever giving any indication that something was wrong. The person who, when I asked her what was wrong, said “Nothing. Nothing at all.” (right before the dumping) Hehehe…gotta love that stuff.

As we were headed back to the secret bar, I made an executive decision: “Time to go home.” And at first she was like “I’d like to stop inside for a minute.” But I just repeated myself and she, perhaps, saw that it indeed was time to go. On the way home, she insisted on stopping at McDonalds–“McDonalds, the Oasis of the Drunken Desert”–and I don’t remember exactly what we talked about (and I’m sure she only barely remembers the ride home). But the night was well and truly done.

On Tuesday, pool night, MHE decided to stay home because of a lot of schoolwork due the next day. I was down there with P. and, of course, most of the pool team. I won games against both P. and the Sicilian before the league started. Quite the achievement considering how much better than I they are. Not much to note from the evening except that the Cigarette Moocher was there and she added to the “number of cigarette mooched” record that she no doubt holds. Tina Feylike girl was there as well. At least MHE wasn’t there to get jealous that I once again spoke briefly with her. It was a good night, but I did miss MHE and her Tueday night flirtathon. It’s always nice to be flirted with and it’s equally funny to watch her flirt her way around the pool team. But, hey, it all is what it is until it isn’t it anymore.

Tonight, we shall see what poker night might bring. I’m marginally in charge of the bar at least for a while tonight. Of course that mostly consists of fetching things for the bartender and making sure that she gets herself out of the bar and to her car safely. It’ll be interesting to see what’s up with MHE. Can’t wait to find out what she remembers from Sunday or how she remembers it.

Should be fun.

UPDATE: We didn’t get much of a chance to talk, but the mood–as it always seems to be on Thursdays–was friendly, almost formal, rather than flirty and fun. Oh, and we have a “date” tonight. Well, I invited her to a party with friends that she wasn’t otherwise invited to,so I’m considering it a date. And when I referrred to it as a date in a text message she didn’t say otherwise, so, in my books, it’s a date. Thing is, lately a large part of me doesn’t really want to date her, given her chaoticness. But, still, the other part of me  still thinks it could work.

Crystal ball anyone?

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