Archive for the ‘Jilted One stories’ Category

My Semi-Charmed Kinda Life

December 4, 2008

Ok, I forget if I mentioned this to you before, dear reader, but I am now playing in a pool league. Yes, you should have suspected that my life had become just that seedy (to all of you pool league players out there, I am of course only joking when I refer to us as “seedy” *flashes ‘pool league member’ gang symbol*) And, after losing my first three matches–the most recent in ignominious fashion at our “home field”–I managed to absolutely destroy my opponent Tuesday night. Two straight incredibly nearly perfectly played games–which, as you know if you’ve seen me play pool, isn’t me.  Luckily though, my opponent was gracious in his loss: “You played great tonight…for a sandbagger.” And then he added: “I can’t wait to play you again-so I can destroy your ass!” I believe I replied “I’m looking forward to it.” or something like that. I didn’t bother to point out to him that he was the first person I ever beat in a match. His ego already seemed a little bruised by his quick dismissal from our match.

Go, me.

Speaking of going, I spent much of yesterday driving up at down the valley. Up to work. Back. Out to Chicker Falls. Back to the town in which I work (for an unrelated-to-work meeting). Back to home. Out to see The Jilted One. Down to the Orcha’d to visit Ms. Hold ‘Em. A quick visit to my buddy the Sicilian. And then back for another short visit with the Jilted One at work. And then home again. I’m tired even just listing the itinerary.

Oh, and when I was visiting the Sicilian we watched some Ultimate Fighting and he bemoaned the fact that when he fought they didn’t have television and he only earned $120 a match, not the big money these guys are making (‘how much DO they make?’, I wonder…but not enough to google it). I learn something new about the Sicilian every day.

Anyway, I’m tired today and still not back into full tilt writing mode, so I will sign off for now. Thanks dear readers for returning–and for those of you who are new to this blog, you have a lot of catching up to do so don’t complain when I disappear for days at a time.

*flashes ‘erratic blogger’ gang symbol*


Once again…and again

December 2, 2008

I’m hoping this isn’t another false start back into the writing thang. It’ll be brief, but hopefully not false.

I’m recovering from a Thanksgiving weekend that saw my whole schedule tilt from the good ol’ school-year wake up time of 6:30 AM to the good-ol’ Jilted One -style schedule of go to bed at 7 AM. And yes, Saturday night/Sunday morning I was over at her place bubble-wrapping (don’t bother looking it up in the Urban Dictionary, it isn’t a code word for some kinda sex–though it should be) all of her stuff–she’s moving soon. And though the morning, urm afternoon, ended in some (semi)-innocent cuddling, it was just another pleasant night with my real, real close buddy.

The Jilted One, who has broken up/made up with her boyfriend about a half dozen times in the past months, now says that that relationship is done for good. It did, afterall, end with her throwing a beer bottle at him–so I’m thinking maybe it wasn’t HER decision to end it completely–so what’s done really, at this point, should be done.

Getting back into the writing mode is going to take some time. I hope that the writing starts to flow a little better again.

“I’m Bored. Let’s Play.”

October 2, 2008

These two simple sentences have been getting me into some interesting situations lately. Smart situations? Situations I’m Proud of? Situations that Won’t Get Me Drawn and Quartered? Not sure.

But, interesting? Yes.

After my long layoff from writing I have so much to tell about so many people. But let me just start my return to blogging with a quick message to myself–Monday night you went home for a reason: you were tired, truly done for the night, and you had to work. Under no circumstances should you have sent a good night message to the Jilted One at 1:30 a.m. And when she said she wanted to come and visit you, you should have said ‘no, I’m tired; I’m done; and I have to work in the morning’. You should not have said “I’ll meet you somewhere.

Okay, so, to cut to the chase, I left there at 7 a.m., in just enough time to get to work. On maybe two hours sleep. A hard situation to explain to anyone else–and I don’t think that my honest explanation that all we did was sleep is going to fly with anyone–let alone the surprisingly patient (so far) Ms. Hold ‘Em. You know, especially since we spooned away those early morning hours.

As dead as I should be, I do have to say that it was a really nice (you know, in a friendly but happy kind of way) time. Waking up next to the Jilted One was never anything I had expected to EVER happen to me. If it weren’t for you, dear readers, it would have to be a secret I carried with me forever. Or as The Jilted One texted it: “shhhhhhhhh4eva.”

You don’t want to know how many times I’ve gotten that text.

Oh, and tonight, K2 returns to the east coast–married and, well let’s see if she has changed lo these many months….

Many Happy Returns

March 27, 2008

Well, I don’t have much to update about last night. I did see JetBlue, along with a bunch of other committee people. I have hardly seen her lately and it was nice to catch up–especially since she was 1) in pleasant conversation mode (which is all too rare); and 2) looking really cute (which isn’t always the case). But, really, no fascinating stories to tell. Then I made a semi-triumphant return to the bar up the hill. The Jilted One was bartending and gave me a big greeting. And, as I had hoped, there was a two for one special on the beers, if you know what I mean. She also told me the story of losing her other bartending job, in classic The Jilted One fashion–talking really quickly and then not stopping the story when she walked away to serve another customer. Yeah, just like the good ol’ days.

But, all in all, an uneventful night–oh shit, I almost forgot–earlier in the evening I was hanging with the kids at their house. I hear the cat make a strange meochy sound as she came up the basement stairs. So, I say to her: “What’s wrong, S.?” And, holy shite, she drops a baby mouse on the floor. That was quite the shocker, to say the least. Followed by the second shock of watching the little mofo scamper under the table. The cat followed it, content to give the little thing a couple of half-hearted swats. So, anyway, once I got over that momentary “live wild animal inside the house” shock (please note: I still suffer from PTSD related to a “live squirrel in the house” incident some years ago) I decided to try to save the cute little baby mouse. Luckily this part of the story has no drama to it. I put on a glov, carefully picked him up and put him safely outside.

It was a few minutes before it sunk in for me that I pretty much sent him to a different doom–can a young mouse care for himself outside? i don’t know. Does he know the way back into the house? Eh, don’t know. Why is that owl smirking? What stray cats will run into him? Will they show him the way home?

Oh well.

Not much else to say except that the current chapter of my life has a working title: “My Guardian Angel Carries an Icepick”

Catchy, isn’t it?

It’s All Good in the Twilight Zone

March 13, 2008

Let’s see. You’re due for some updates.

Friday night I went down to the secret bar to hang out. It was a quiet night. They did have some free pizza which was cool. Apparently they were expecting more than the six or seven people who actually showed up. But it was fun. I won a nice bit of money on the “for amusement only” machine so that was great. The bar ended up closing early and we went down to the scary bar. It was cool. I got to hang out with Friday’s bartender, the Young One, for a while. That was cool. I’ve (okay, like every guy in the universe) always been attracted to her so it was fun to be out together. At one point at the scary bar, one of the scary bar patrons made some sort of joke and I responded to it–I don’t even remember what it was–and then she said to the Young One: “You’re lucky. He’s a 120% man!” So we went along with the idea that we were together, just for fun of course. At one point I even put my arm around the Young One and told the scary bar patron that “She tells me I’m 130% man!” Another evening for the annals. We even stopped back at the secret bar for a super secret post-last call drink. Nothing like a sketchy 3 AM moment with C., the Young One, the owner, Runaround Sue, and the scary bar patron (mentioned above).

Saturday, Miss Hold ‘Em and I ate in at her house and then headed down to the secret bar. We had a nice night–had some drinks, played pool, watched first a bar crawl come through quickly and then some crazy Russians. C. asked me at one point if I had hooked up with the Young One the night before and, obviously the answer was no. Not that it isn’t something that every guy down there has dreamt of. I mean, come on, we’re only humen. But, anyway, the night went on relatively uneventfully. Oh, except that at the end of the night MHE broke up with me. You know, a typical Saturday night.

On Sunday I got to go down to Worc’ster to be a part of their St Paddy’s day parade. It was a fun day but it was wickedly, bitterly cold. Luckily I was numb to begin with, plus a friend gave me a wool hat that had been given him. So I managed to survive the elements.

Oh, yeah. As I mentioned above MHE dumped my sorry ass. Her only explanation was that “I had a feeling and I went with it.” On Tuesday we talked it over and–though like any couple I know we’ve got small problems–she really couldn’t pinpoint any reason other than it’s the way she was feeling. Oh well. As it turned out we had a great time Tuesday night. We spent parts of the evening together hanging out and haven’t laughed so much and been so at ease–I realized later that it was the most fun time I had felt with her in a long time. It was nice to not have to worry about relationshippy stuff I guess. But it still begs the question of why, in her (I increasingly realize) mind-boggling thought processes, the thought of actually talking over issues never came to mind. I’m thinking it has something to do with never having had a healthy relationship (that’s her own assessment of her past, not me being bitter) before. Do you have to learn to think of the option of working through problems? Perhaps.

On Tuesday I also stopped up at the bar up above for a while with a friend. The Jilted One was excited to see me and gave me a big hug. I wish I could bottle that feeling, hehe. But things weren’t too exciting up there so we headed back down below.

At any rate, I’ll be honest and say that I both hope and fear that at some point MHE and I will give it another go. But, to be honest, the more I see how she’s capable of acting without ever feeling any guilt or responsiblity for her actions clues me in on the fact that there seems to be some kind of damage getting in the way of her maintaining a relationship in a healthful way. I guess it’s a question of whether or not it’s a major and permanent problem or just a lack of experience combined with some, um, quirkiness. I don’t know. We’ll see what we shall see.

Last night I met some friends down at the bar. Lots of fun conversations. Got to vent a little to C., the genious who set up MHE and I (just kidding, despite this sudden turn of events I do appreciate his efforts). But to be honest, the more I talked to him the more I realized that the small problems she reacted against were really nothing compared to some of the shit she pulled on me. So, I’m happy to be moving steadily away from any kind of pining. And the thing is, other than spending Sunday in a hungover haze of rejection and anger and confusion, I’ve been pretty damn fine. After a year of careening through singleness which followed losing a meaningful relationship to a really special person (and, as I’ve admitted before that one was very much my fault), this break-up was more just a ‘what the fuck’ moment than a defining point in my life. And it was certainly further evidence that I shouldn’t be thinking about retiring this blog. Just when I thought my life was “boring” and “happy” suddenly MHE showed me that beneath a really wonderfully placid surface there can be some caustic substances brewing.

So, anyway, on Wednesday (last night) I struck up a friendship with the bartender. She’s a really cool, heavily tattooed chick who does some really crazy (in a cool way) art. No, kids, this isn’t the start of something. She’s engaged and all. But anyway, we got to talk more last night than we have in months and it was cool to really get to know someone that I’ve known a while. Also, C. made an interesting comment: several of us were talking about the Young One and how hot she is–if our “guy” conversations were organized as a Google search, “The Young One” would definitely be the “I’m Feeling Lucky” result–and C. (who previously imagined that I was hooking up with her on Friday)–said to me “You should go after her, for those of us who can’t.” And I was like, “Oh yeah, I’m twice her age. Like that’s going to happen.” [and, dear reader, please keep your snide “Afternoon Girl” comments to yourselves] And then he said “I don’t know. She’s always seemed to like you. She talks about you a lot.” And, the thing is, in a strange sort of way I wasn’t surprised at his assessment. She has always–in a friendly way–shown me a lot of attention and paid me lots of compliments. (She even ‘bought’ me on one of those goofy Facebook applications. Heh!) But, still, I know it ain’t gonna happen and I know that even entertaining the notion is just setting me up for a world of disappointment, so, sorry C., you’re going to have to find someone else to live through vicariously.

And, so yes dear readers, it’s all good. Tonight I’ll be seeing MHE down at the secret bar. We may or may not get a chance to hang out. If we do, I’m sure it will be fun because we’ve never had anything but a good time together. And it’ll be weird because I’m expecting that it’ll be further proof that Saturday’s “events” really make no sense in a normal, rational world.

But, oh wait, I just remembered that one of the premises of this blog is that the secret bar is a place where what is “normal” and “rational” is turned on edge and inverted and twisted and crumpled up in a ball and then thrown into the river. And if it doesn’t float. It doesn’t float.

So, not only will “no setback set me back” but also “no surprise will surprise me.”

Happy Blogger, Bad Blogger

January 24, 2008

So anyway, I haven’t been finding much time to write lately. It’s been a combination of trying to keep up with things at work, general tiredness, and, I guess most importantly, a lack of interest in writing about things that are going well.

When I started this blog, it was a means of expressing my frustration with being single again and an outlet for writing about all the crazy aspects of life that I was experiencing for pretty much the first time. Now that I’m in a real, and so far happy, relationship, that urge to write about it is fading fast. Not, just as I keep saying, that it is all boring and tranquil, I just don’t feel the need. I’ve missed some great stories already and will probably miss more, but that’s okay with me. As I keep going with the blog perhaps I’ll focus on others still and not so much myself. That might be one way to keep you amused (I hope) and informed (about something you probably don’t care about).

Anyway, here are a few briefs to make you feel like coming to this blog wasn’t a total waste of time:

Last Saturday, my friend C. (of secret bar fame) opened a super-secret bar in his basement–actually it had been going a few years ago, but it has enjoyed a re-birth. By 6 the next morning though, he was rethinking the idea. Something about sunshine making his eyeballs bleed after the all-nighter.

JetBlue apparently is not all that “into” Mr. Metal Guy. Of course I know the reason is that he has shown normal tendencies–calling you, being nice to you, not being a total shitehead. She’s truly a piece of work, you know, like that abandoned skyscraper in North Korea.

On Tuesday, I–for the third straight time–beat Ms. Hold ‘Em at pool. And then beat one of her teammates! I think I’ll be in the league before I know it. Ms. Hold ‘Em, by the way, won her league match, so it’s not like she sucks at it or anything.

I haven’t seen the Jilted One in awhile. I haven’t been up to that bar in a long time. I’m almost ashamed to go back next week. The last time I was there she scolded me for slowly disappearing on her. But, then again, it was a cute scolding.

Friday night we rented a movie, that Adam Sandler Chuck and Larry (or whatever) movie. Umm, I’m still not sure how to react to it. It was only mildly funny at times and, like any movie like that, it was always trying to walk a fine line between not being offensive and relying on humor about gays (which generally hits offensive pretty quickly in my book). I don’t know. What did you think of it? I know, you were probably smart enough not to watch it.

Other than that, I’m sure there’s plenty more. But I won’t tell you about all our plans to go away this summer, all the wonderful times we’re having, all of our talk about the future, and all of our crossing that bourne again into the limitless possibilities that come with opening your heart.

Some Clarifications

November 30, 2007

Dear readers–and for once I’ll use the plural without wondering if it’s warranted–thanks for all of your comments. I figured a post entitled He’s a Fuckin’ Keeper would indeed get people’s attention. A few clarifications based on your comments/questions…

First of all, everything I write about my experiences in this blog in fact have happened to me. I still ponder the question though of what is fiction and what is non-fiction. Though I give you slices of my life–mainly those times spent in bars–it is a select portion of my life. Even within the relationships that I write about, I’m sure there are plenty of other things I could add, but don’t–either because I never get around to writing about it or because it doesn’t necessarily fit in with the themes that have emerged from each of my “characters'” lives.

And, in other ways, you could argue, this blog is fictionalized. When I quote conversations do I quote them completely and accurately? I certainly try to, but for the sake of the narrative I often compress things, pick out the nuggets of truth (or even just humor). I never put words in people’s mouths, but I do streamline. And when I characterize people I’m also relaying my own impression of them. Is “the Jilted One” really “the Jilted One” any more? No, she’s long past that. Does everyone think of JetBlue as the person who can’t get her relationships off the ground? No, to be honest, if you ask most people they have a different and even lower opinion of her behavior. And K2? I’ve idealized and humorized some real sad, perhaps tragic, behavior on her part. But it’s my blog and I’ve chosen to see it that way. And Ms. Hold ‘Em? (and I’ll update you all later on this story line) She’s a far more complicated person than I even want to write about. In fact, for the first time since starting this blog, I’ve met someone that I don’t even know if I want to keep writing about her because we’re really connecting well in so many ways and I don’t want to trivialize the facts of her life–and, who knows, our life at some point. Oh, and I can’t forget Afternoon Girl–the only regular character here who knows about my blog, I might add. If I wrote about her–and us–in its entirety, you’d be truly amazed at the sensually complex and driven person that she is.

Well, enough about that.

Oh, and, as far as “the bar scene” that a number of commenters have referred to–first of all, I don’t mind comments that criticize, or that remember not so fondly, hanging out in bars. Secondly, one thing I may not have pointed out in the past is that until last February, I spent relatively little time in bars. This whole ‘nearly every night out’ lifestyle is new to me. But it has introduced me to a range of people I never would have encountered sitting at home watching The Office. Always Sunny in Philadelphia, maybe. But not most television. And it’s also provided me with something that I hadn’t really experienced in 14 years. Being single and free to do as I pleased. And, believe me, I’m happier than anyone else that I’m thinking I’m quickly on my way to transitioning back to the guy that reads books and watches TV and cooks and only goes out a couple of nights a week–and not necessarily to a bar when we do. Believe me, I’ve missed having someone (other than my kids) to go on daytrips with, go to the beach with, go out to eat with, whatever.

And, finally, please don’t confuse my bars with “the bar scene.” To me, the bar scene involves crowded clubs or martini bars with a bunch of well-heeled office workers and other 20-somethings going out with the purpose of picking up/getting picked up. The places I write about are nothing like that (not that pick ups, etc. don’t happen). When I write about “the usual bar” (sometimes just called “the bar”) think of Cheers but if it were on Showtime. Just a bunch of characters who are reliably sitting in the same seat on certain nights, often talking about the same things day after day, with the occasional plotline thrown in. (“Hey, someone just threw a rock through the back window” or “Hey, that guy just passed out and fell off his stool”)

The “secret bar” is very quiet. Often nearly empty. The sort of place you go if you really don’t want to be seen out and about. In the summer you might often find no more than ten people there, all of them out on the patio smoking cigarettes, and all of them knowing each other–not just from the bar, but from years of being friends. In my mind I sometimes liken the place to the Court of Miracles in the Hunchback of Notre Dame–you know, where the blind beggars can suddenly see and the legless can suddenly walk, where you’re free to discuss your recent grifts without anyone thinking anything of it.

So, that’s that. Thanks for reading and I hope you come back for more setbacks.

But It Paid Off in a Way

November 14, 2007

Okay, before I start yet another exceedingly dull blog entry about my new potential relationship I have to briefly mention the Jilted One. On Monday night when I was at the bar (only for a brief while, honest) she was there and boy was she tipsy. She reminded me that some weeks ago I was her “ride home” on a particular Sunday night–I think I told the story: she had to tell her boyfriend that I gave her a ride home because in fact some other guy had. Anyway, on Monday she was all drunky and kept hugging me and telling me “secrets” she had–none of them were too juicy, though and the funny part about it was that when she drunk whispers you can pretty much hear her across the bar. Which is very different than when she talks to me in her normal voice and I can barely hear her and have to say “Wha?” a lot.

Anyway, yesterday I wrote about being impatient. By 6 PM I had had enough so I decided to text message Ms. Hold ‘Em. Because I’ve learned a lot over the months I didn’t address the fact that she hadn’t called me or anything. Instead I came up with a random and at least mildly humorous topic. Well, the next hour or so after that was spent kicking myself for being too attentive until she replied, mentioning that Tuesday’s were a crazy busy day for her. So I waited quite a while to respond–wanting to keep up the conversation, but being mindful of the crazy busy comment. And, anyway, we slowly went back and forth over the course of a couple of hours.

Now,mind you, she still hadn’t brought up me asking her out. And I wasn’t going to mention it–though I was on the verge. Finally I asked her how her birthday down at the secret bar went and how I was bummed that I missed it. And, finally, boom! she segued into the date thing. So, by the end of the conversation last night I got: most likely yes, definitely want to, not sure which night, but most likely do-able.


Bored yet, dear readers? No, “oh by the way here’s the crazy thing she did” No nothing like that. Sorry…but I’m not.

Just When You Think

November 1, 2007

Just when you think that someone is off the radar POW! BFFF! BAM! there they are again.

On Tuesday night Tattoo Guy and I headed down to the bar (or, as he says it, “the bahh”) to see the Jilted One working. Oh, that reminds me, my favorite recent quote from the JiltedOne: “I’m going to put that song (this is the one that she sang to me some months ago) on my mp3 player and when it plays only you and I will know that that’s OUR song.” Hehe…Oh, and THAT reminds me that the same evening she told me that she said to C., in front of his girlfriend, “I miss cuddling with you” which of course didn’t please his gf so she added “It’s okay, we were just friends. We didn’t have sex or anything.” That, I’m sure, was reassuring. She’s apparently also famous for calling guys at four in the morning, just to say hi. I can imagine that that is hard to explain to one’s girlfriend. Yeah.

But, anyway, after being among the missing all weekend–and after my errant phone call in the early morning–K2 was there at the bar, looking as alluring as ever. I, of course, had to break the ice with an apology about the accidental phone call (and I was nervous about mentioning it to her ever because Tattoo Guy kept asking me if I was embarrassed that that had happened, which of course made me embarrassed that that had happened). But she was totally cool about it and laughed it off and said ‘what can ya do?’ Sweet.

And here’s the great part of this whole evening: we talked more than ever before. And it was a great conversation, back and forth, interesting (I think on both ends), all that I could hope for at this point. Yes, for you people that think I wasted my time studying Irish literature and history, screw you, because it paid off Tuesday night. After so many months of missed communications and wondering and dreaming and whatever, I finally feel like we’re real and true friends. Really, despite everything about her that people are more than happy to gossip about, she’s such a cool and sweet and thoughtful and intelligent person. And I dig that. Anyway, at this point, I feel like we’re friends. I don’t get the feeling that much else will go on, but that’s okay. I’ve been surprised before. Especially with the Jilted One’s “love” for me, I know that several people would put in a good word for me and all.

But, for the most part I’ve moved my affections to a new zip code anyway and I’m looking forward to “running into” Ms. Hold ‘Em tonight at the secret bar. I found out last night that she and the bartender are good friends so again I’ve got someone to count on for talking me up to her. You see, the bartender loves me, thinks I’m god’s gift to bartenders (that is, I don’t get loud or angry or violent AND I tip well). She and her boyfriend C. have invited me out to dinner and to parties and such. So, I know (I love building myself up for a large disappointment, eh?) without a doubt that things are going to work out for me this time. I’m due.

Recapping, part tatu

October 24, 2007

Well, I won’t let the fact that absolutely no one has read this blog in two days deterring me from attempting some sort of update…

Last night I received a surprise text from my friend who “runs” the secret bar. As this was a rarity (asking me to meet him for drinks on a Tuesday) I was sure to comply. As it turns out, he and his girlfriend seem to be in the process of breaking up and he decided to deal with it by not talking to her and drinking heavily instead. Little did he know I’m a bit of an expert in that strategy. Anyway, Tattoo Guy and I were there for quite a while–I scored potential invites to both going out for sushi soon AND a post-Christmas party, cha chang–and then when others were leaving we packed up and I insisted on going to the usual bar.

Why didn’t I just go home? Well, as more astute readers may have guessed, I knew that the Jilted One was working and I hoped that K2 would show up on the scene. So we spent quite some hanging out there with the Jilted One and the Gangster and his girlfriend, as well as other people who passed through. Oh yeah, including a, let’s say, “chubby” girl that I briefly expressed interest in to Tattoo Guy, whom TG decided to chat up “on my behalf” and to tell her that we would be back there tonight! Oh my. The problem was 1) I first saw her when she was sitting at a table, and 2) Tattoo Guy seemed bound and determined to set me up with someone, anyone, you know, what with all the “success” he’s had helping me to work the K2 angle.

Oh yeah, K2. At some point in the evening, K2 and her friend (see the ala Pulp Fiction dancing girl from an April post) breezed in and K2 said hi to Tattoo Guy and me. Then she asked for a cigarette, so TG and I headed outside. When we got out there her friend came out and asked for a cigarette as well. And then they, um, left immediately. Yes indeedy, 45 seconds worth of quality K2 time and only a $40 bar tab to show for it…

What else is there to say…